Kiloe/Tamia set-up
I noticed in Chapter 8 how the Kiloe/ Tamia set-up is shown from an outside view and just a quick summary more than actual plot information. Even if just a small bit of dialogue between characters (Dekka and Tamia or Centar and Kiloe) was added, it would make it a more interesting read.
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Permalink Reply by Ken McConnell on -
Great observations Alex. I have given that relationship some thought over the years and I kind of realized that it got in the way from the focus of the story. The bit in chapter 8 was my attempt to suggest that they tried to hook up and the relationship was cut short for the betterment of the team.
Of course little to no mention of their feelings is ever made again in the story, which I think may be a mistake. I think I could pull off the relationship better if I hinted at their feelings during later chapters. The trouble is, it has no baring on the over all story. There are no scenes later in the novel where the two are alone together.
If after having finished the novel, you still feel there would be room for that, let me know. It would not be too hard to bring it in. Thanks for the really good thread!
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Permalink Reply by Alex Richardson on -
Is it possible that Kiloe could be overly emotional when Tamia gets wounded on Dezzen? If Kiloe still had feelings for her there could be something subtle written in there.
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Permalink Reply by Ken McConnell on
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Well, I think he goes off on some Votainions. But perhaps I could add something after they leave Dezzen.
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Permalink Reply by Alex Richardson on
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Now that you mention it, I do recall him beating the crud out of one of them, but it might be good to add a little something in after they leave.
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